We all start our lives with our parents. We grow, we mimic our parents behaviors and we get to be told what`s good and bad and what we should do.
As grown ups we live our lives thinking there`s a plan, told by someone else and we should follow it. WRONG!
If you really want to live a free, carefree life you should stop listening to people who don`t matter and listen to those who do.
I never had a proper opinion, I was always the follower and not the leader. Over the years I understood that none of the opinions matter.
We need to create our own happiness, not depending on anyone else. Being on your own does not necessarily mean that you`re lonely, it could mean that this is how you recharge, this is how you gain energy. I learned how to be alone and it`s very satisfying. I learned that peace is everything and the peace of mind is everything.
Being positive is not something you can obtain in one go, it takes years of discipline and development to reach that. It can be hard, but at the end it could be all worth it. We need to do not we are expected to do, but what we want to do. The truth is...nobody is going to live your life...and they are not entitled to make decisions for you.
IT`S YOU that has the power to change your life and live how you want. If you want to suffer, you will, if you want to be happy, you will be happy. It`s all in the power of YOU, how will you live your life. We need to understand what matters.
Want to change your life? DO IT! I decided to punish myself, suffering became a part of it, I feel sorry for myself, but this made me a lot stronger. This is done for a reason, I grew to see how much I can take and became more resistant to people`s opinions and words. It does not matter to me anymore.
I NO LONGER FEEL I NEED TO BE ACCEPTED. I feel powerful...I feel me..I have no time to be fake...and really time is precious and at some point we will run out of it and the what??? what are we going to say to ourselves at the end? Will you have the same people by your side? Will they be loyal? Will they help you when you will need help?
Choose..what you want to do with your life, choose the people you want to be around just choose what you want to do and who you want to be.
It`s something I`m still learning to this day. The circle of friends got smaller...I became more closed minded and I enjoy peace, I enjoy not wasting my energy on those who are not appreciating it. This is how you understand that the best thing for you is to be by yourself and be in silence, this is when people understand you`re not taking any bullshit anymore and you make choices on your own...and you`re finally are capable of saying: don`t tell me how to live my life.

See you later,



Empathy, looks like simple yet very meaningful word..put yourself in other persons shoes, feel the pain, cry.
Sometimes you think life is difficult but yet it can be very simple as well. Positive impact...I never thought of doing a positive impact...to me, it comes very naturally. 
If I see someone being sad or angry I start feeling the same way as well, even if I don`t know the circumstances.
Of course If I care about the person..I will start asking questions and depending on the answers I would react differently.., but nevertheless I will want to help because I never liked seeing anyone upset.
I never thought about POSITIVE IMPACT...because different people react differently so it`s hard to tell if you will even manage to have a good impact, instead I always tried to use a different approach like:

1. BE KIND. Always be kind to people, even if they are being rude...you will be kind, but not to prove anything to anyone, but to prove to yourself that kindness is an act that not anyone can pursue.  Being kind is simple, it does not require anything, imagine if everyone would be kind to each other? There would be a lot of happy people in the world;

2.DON`T GET EASILY ANGERED. So someone said something...you did`t like it, but the person who said it was happy, saw you being upset continued not knowing the boundaries. Ignore these kind of people. A normal person would`t get joy in other persons pain not knowing the circumstances. Try not to interact and you will be happier about it.

3.SHOW SMALL GESTURES. So little things can make us happy. Listen to what another person has to say, never interrupt,show you care, show interest, try to make someone laugh, but always stay yourself.

4.SING. So long story short...my colleague told me he won`t be helping me with extra work that I have on my hands...so of course I started singing SAM SMITH -STAY WITH ME, he started laughing, my other colleague started laughing and I laughed (because I can`t sing) and he said: -Well, when you`re asking me in this way, I probably don`t want to leave...so yeah...the power of singing (even terribly) somehow works.

5. BE YOURSELF. This one is very simple...just be you. Be clumsy, be funny, be reckless, be positive. Not everyone will appreciate you, but you`re not here to please everybody you know, this is not your job. The right people will always come to your life and they make you realize that you can be appreciated for who you truly are, not what you pretend to be, hence don`t adjust to everyone's needs.

And that`s it, never think about positive impact you can have, make it natural, make it a part of your life and you will see that positive acts comes from within of caring of one another, being supportive and wanting a better life  for each other. Know this: everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, so be the kind one!

And see you later,



Early morning...the alarm rang at least 5 times...with the biggest headache I woke up...basically crawled to the shower...no strength whatsoever, after sipping the last drop of coffee I look at the watch...6:00 A.M..I closed my eyes... 10 more minutes and I`m leaving.
Walking down...as I can already feel the cold on my face...it feels so good, so refreshing...I feel calm for a second...other second I know...standing next to the park...the day is so gloomy, I can see the mist covering everything...and a shadow in the distance of a man walking his dog...It`s so quiet...my phone started playing EMINEM-Space bound...second verse just gets me straight to the heart:

Nobody knows me I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no ones fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so

Yes....walking slowly...step by step...I`m getting closer...I hate this...I don`t want to...it`s like I can`t talk...some internal shock happening...still going...moving forward...my hands are shaking...I can almost hear my heart, like it`s about to jump out...it`s like I can`t see or hear anything around me anymore...part of other verse starts to kick in:

I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin' I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezin' til I snap ya neck like a popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason , I could think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you just go and just give
Before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

And then I hear the sound of a gunshot in the video....I stopped for a second...my heart beat...was insane...I don`t know if that was from a cup of coffee or just the adrenaline rushing in my body.....
After stopping...I start going forward in small steps... another Eminem song comes up...LOSE YOURSELF...I heard this song like a million times...the song is so empowering (not that cheap shit they play today)...and the first verse kicks in:

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity 
To seize everything you ever wanted 
One moment 
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

I can feel my steps are getting heavier...the lyrics are so powerful...I can almost feel the strength of the firm, confident voice telling me all these things in the song...thinking I don`t want to give up on anything...I want to be strong...I can feel my eyes are opening wider...it`s like after couple of deep breaths I can feel something...

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready 
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin' 
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud 
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out 
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now 
The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity 
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked 
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No 
He won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, 
He's dope, he knows that, but he's broke 
He's so stacked that he knows 
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's 
Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody 
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

And with all the words...I`m still standing...why I put those exact words here???This is how I feel...Sometimes it can be hard...foreign country...different people (with different mentality)... more selfish...that I feel lost...I feel like I`m too good for all this evil around me...I feel like a stranger here...everyday...I need to suppress my own language...and express myself in different ways... My last closing verse will be:

Success is my only motherfuckin' option, failures not... 

I salute everyone who`s trying....and for those who are missing home...I fell you, I understand you!

Good Luck,



Overthinking, overthinking, overthinking...we all do it at some point. What is overthinking, well the dictionary says:

The art of creating problems that weren't even there.
Well at least it`s an art, that`s comforting. But really, people who tend to overthink, they like to go into things deeper, analyse them and its not always good, because we find more bad than good in the situations of life.
The title says: How to make yourself happy? I`m going to say its not easy, but you can always try. First step is:
1.BE HAPPY WITHIN YOURSELF. Happiness comes from our way of thinking and dealing with things. Keep repeating yourself that today is going to be a great day (even if its not that great), think positive thoughts , be your own company and happiness, depend on yourself not others to create happiness.
2. BE GOOD, BE KIND. Even if your day or life is not coming well together remember: that is no ones fault (not even yours). We just have days like this...this is life, you need to take the bad with the good, remember the days that were better than today, all negativity will pass, life will never be sunshine and rainbows.
3. LITTLE THINGS CAN MAKE US HAPPY. Remember that big possessions in life won`t always make you happy (looking at today's society) a lot of successful people commit suicide even with successful carriers. Remember that happiness comes from within, so have a cup of tea, read a good book, listen to calm music and try to be in a good mind of state.
4.CRY IF YOU NEED TO. It`s not a shame to cry (or scream) whichever makes you feel better. Let it all go, but don`t turn to addictive substances (it`s a temporary solution) that won`t solve your problems. Just take it all out, write something, do something active, but STOP destroying yourself. You need to remind yourself that you`re important and you matter, love yourself because nobody is going to do that for you.

Until next time,
Stay strong,



First of all I`m going to start this post by saying: I`m not an expert, not a psychologist so just going to give suggestions that works for me.

Funny part is: I have never been an optimistic or a very positive person, it could sound rather sad that I always have expected the worst in my life and I must say, I have less disappointments and it`s even better that I don`t think about positive outcomes or expectations and when a positive thing does happen I think: Oh shit! great, woo, amazing!!! and then think OK, let`s see, maybe the next day won`t be so shitty as well, we`re going to see...

1. EVEN IF EVERYTHING IS GOING DOWN, IT`S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I know it`s hard to believe this one, but it is. What is the worst thing that could happen? why you should trouble yourself of thinking...what`s now? It`s not the end of the world, think about the worst case scenario...don`t think forward (what will happen/or could happen), worry when it happens.

2.TURN THE BAD INTO GOOD. This one is hard, but then again...all mistakes we make or unpleasant encounters we have, we can take it all as just unpleasant EXPERIENCE. I believe that things happen for a reason, to test us, to see how we react, but sometimes it`s better react with no reaction at all. Lets say...OK, this happen, what will change if I will stress about it? NOTHING, hence let`s just take it and say fuck it.

3.DON`T TAKE IT OUT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. I think we all been through this one. Even if you`re not in the mood try to be nice with other people. It`s not someones fault what the other person did to you. Control yourself, take a few deep breaths, sit in silence, put one headphone on and listen to some calm music, try to calm yourself down.

4.DON`T SAY THE THINGS YOU COULD REGRET LATER. We all been there...controlled with bad emotions we start being aggressive and impulsive and we say a lot of things that we regret later. First think: is it really worth of saying something? Think about it, there`s a saying some things are better off being unsaid.

5.FUCK IT! When you can go to an argument waste your time/energy..think...for a better peace of mind it`s better of letting some things go and just say FUCK IT! Concentrate on your good being and on yourself. Don`t let emotions overflow your good manners or poison your way of thinking.

Picture from the Dutch Nationaal Archief
That`s all from me today, have a good day!